Every morning,
every morning I wake up discomposed
And I have to pull myself together
before I pull you into my arms
It's that moment of amnesia
where I forget the man I'm trying to be
that scared me most in
the night before
because it's a nightmare more constant than sometimes
that one time my arms will stretch out imperfectly
and like man's reach exceeding
they'll grasp nothing but
air it's these mornings
I think I can't be enough
to keep you here
After all, I'm a bag of tricks,
an illusion played
so constantly it sticks,
a little bit of showmanship
to convince us not to go looking
for the rabbit inside the hat,
but the fact is it's there,
it's huddled behind my eyes,
quivering nervous on my tongue,
it's afraid of everything
and everyone
because he's never done
anything like this before,
the me in my dream does not so much
the man you know more like
his idiot kid brother
who dresses up for Halloween each night
and he doesn't know how to write
really he just knows show -and -tell
he doesn't know how to fight
really he just takes punches well
so each morning I wake up and
stretch my amnesia
hoping to forget the mounting evidence
that I've made promises
on bad credit,
overdrawn any account of my character,
that the hero I need you to see in me
is equal parts impulse buys and make -believe,
and there's no room in the budget
for either when the payment comes due.
But however much I forget
that first moment,
it's never complete.
After all, a good liar needs
a good memory.
And as long as I'm wearing the threads,
these patchwork sheets
seem to cover me completely.
I've got strands of
novels and bad TV,
giving me parts to play in stage direction.
So these mornings
I can make a promise
for every confession.
A promise to be the mistake
you keep wanting to make.
The chance you keep trying to take.
I'm writing bedtime stories
to keep me awake,
so each morning I can rise.
Still wearing the cape
you made for me out of bed sheets.
Still willing to take more mountain roads
than easy streets
Still seeing in your eyes
when you wake up and smile
That you're willing to play along
So I'm still makeshift,
I'm still guesswork
But I'm still going strong
Thank