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Holidays простые аккорды для гитары от
Jasper Carrott
Jasper Carrott

N/A
Verse 1
G

Do know what I find
F

just a little sinister on television?
G

It's that advert for a guided tour
Gm

around Sellafield
G

Nuclear Power Station.

Isn't that weird?

I mean, we all know

the nuclear industry

is famous for talking bollocks.
Gm
G

And other strange side effects.

You've got to listen!

But to encourage families

to walk round for the day

to prove that there's nothing wrong

is a strange concept, you know?

I mean, there's nothing wrong


with a microwave oven,

except you don't put your kids in it, do you?
C

I mean, they're promoting Sellafield
G

like it's Alton Towers.

You know,

take them for a spin in the reactor.

Buy them an ice cream,

but be careful of the meltdown.


And at lunchtime, they can go to the canteen,


where they can check out the cheese at the salad counter,


the lamb at the meat counter,

and the radiation at the Geiger counter.

And there's always a wonderful

display of vegetables.

It's the staff who have been

there

for more than ten years.

But probably the most disturbing

part of the day

is when you assemble

in the coach to go home

and they have to do a head

count.

I'm sticking to Alton Towers.


Then again, with all this leisure time,

people are looking for places to go

that are, well,

a bit different.

I mean, poor old Spain's

taking a hammering

because everyone's

going to America now.

And why not?

I mean, it's very exciting,

you know?

I mean, if you want to gamble,

you can go to New York for a week

and see if you can come back alive.
F
G

It has to be one of the most unfriendliest

places in the world.

I mean, you get mugged by Jehovah's Witnesses.


A hot -scene telephone call

from the Samaritans.

And if you want to find your way around,

you say, excuse me, could

you tell me the way to Times Square

or shall I piss off now?

The moment you arrive,


you're feeling uneasy.

Immigration gives you

the first clear what's in store,
F

because there are something like 24
G

immigration desks

at Kennedy Airport.

23 of them for US citizens

and one for everybody

else in the world.

I mean, the queues

stretch back to the runways.

You know, I mean, you have to keep

shuffling backwards and forwards

to make a gap for the jumbos to land.

When it finally comes to your turn,

well, you wish you were back

at the end of the queue

because the immigration procedure

is endless.

They have to check every

minute detail.

I mean, in the last 80 years,

they've only let 200 million people

into the country,

including Al Capone, Charles Manson

and Arnold Schwarzenegger. So, obviously,

they're pretty choosy.

And the immigration officers,

I mean, they look at you

as if you're something

that's just dropped out of

a dog's bottom.

Stick to the book.

Boy, do they stick to the book.

Even though it hasn't been updated


for, like, 40 years, you know.

Are you at this present time


or have you ever been

or do you intend to be at any stage

in the future? a communist?

Njet.

Have you met your person or persons

traveling with you anything

that would cause a nuclear explosion?

Well, we all had a curry

before we left here.

No sense of humor.

And when you get out of

the airport

you have to face the prospect

of a taxi journey into New York City.

And New York Taxes

are basically mobile skips

It's right and it's such a dangerous job

that not many people want to

know

in the cab companies will employ

just about anybody

I mean, I mean

I got into a cab once in New York

and the driver was blind

He got round by using the potholes in the road

as a form of rail

Get his Labrador sitting in the front one

box for left to box

Almost as dangerous are the restaurants.


I mean, you can go to somewhere

like, say, the Russian Tea Room

and die of shock from the bill.

Or you can stop at a junk food kiosk


where the hamburgers are so full

of chemicals

you need a prescription

to buy one.

And wherever you go,

food portions are enormous.

I mean, order a salad

and they bring you a market garden.


and there's so much lettuce you could

you could choke the entire

cast of watership down
C

and sandwiches are ridiculous

I mean they're like they're like they're
G

like a small bungalow and they have

they all have a giant

cocktail stick

skewered through the middle

so you can drive it up your nostril

and hold the sandwich steady

while you eat it no thank you do you know where the next

boom in tourism is coming from I'll tell or Russia.

Stands to reason,

with their newfound freedom,

it won't be long before the Russians start

to discover the delights of package holidays.

And you can bet your life

the Spanish will be waiting for them.


They'll change all the signs in the restaurant

to things like cabbage soup,

just like Mum makes.

Excursions like see Parma by

tractor.

In the bars,

they'll concoct new cocktails,

like turnip collarda,

or a slow Q against the wall.

And what will they make of Malibu?

They'll use it as a suntan lotion.

But the hotels will have to be careful,

because they're used to the ashtrays


and towels disappearing. But the

Russians will be taking home the wallpaper

What will Russians make of

holiday charter flights

sheer luxury to them

I mean when the air hostess

slings in the meal they begin

Wow

Where'd you start bread a whole roll

a whole year's supply of salt

In all those scented paper wipes


and be using them later on

as beach towels you

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Tuning:Standard Open Tuner
Аккорды
  • G

  • F

  • Gm

    3
  • C

Каподастр: 1

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    MaddProfessor

    Из всех приложений для настройки инструмента, это, определённо, лучшее. Простое, удобное, предлагает множество интересных аккордов и песен для знакомства с новой музыкой. Однозначно рекомендую.

  • Качественно разработанное приложение

    Rose the Black Cat

    В основном я пользуюсь этим приложением, чтобы настроить гитару. Оно максимально облегчает мне задачу. Ещё тут есть куча песен с подсказками. Вам покажут, какие аккорды играть и как ставить пальцы.

  • У меня вернулся интерес к музыке

    Tuliketsune

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  • Секретное оружие

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    В этом тюнере (самом лучшем, которым я только пользовался) есть и метроном, и игры, и аккорды, и куча разных полезных инструментов. В нём ОЧЕНЬ легко разобраться. Просто супер! Спасибо за создание великолепного приложения. Огромное вам музыкальное СПАСИБО!!!

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  • Это самый лучший тюнер для гитары.

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    Гитара настраивается идеально, звучит как надо. Мне ещё понравились мини-игры, которые учат играть разные аккорды, их действительно становится легче услышать. И всё работает без интернета.

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    Отличное приложение, легко настроить инструмент, найти любимую песню и поиграть.