Тональность: E major
Verse 1
D
One, two, a one, two, three.
I baked a hundred loaves of bread,
I fell down on my head.
G
I vacuumed till I sweated,
ate food that I regretted.
D
I sat near the fire,
A
wearing questionable attire.
G
I made a new incision
D
to improve my circumcision, ah yeah.
My hair's unruly
and I learned to make tabbouleh.
G
I felt kind of groovy,
I watched every single movie.
D
You know I've been depressed,
A
I never even got dressed
G
I was feelin' full of pity,
so I joined a subcommittee
I learned the word abrogation,
tried to find a new vocation
G
Searched a whole skyscraper,
tryin' to steal some toilet paper
D
Made a bong out of a peach,
A
gonna brush my teeth with bleach
G
I prayed for a vaccine,
I learned about hydroxychloroquine
D
Yeah! I was sittin' on the toilet,
tryin' to get some unemployment
G
And stayed in the bathroom
for a meeting on Zoom
D
Forgot I wasn't wearin' pants,
A
I did a little dance
G
I was jigglin' down below
D
and everybody got a free show
I wore my sleeve on my heart,
I found a new body part
G
I learned about zinc sulfate
and how to meditate
D
I was naked in a cape,
A
I tried to do some manscape
G
I lost a little bit of blood,
but I still felt like a stud
D
I high -fived a little kid,
I thought I got COVID
G
Listened to Jerry Garcia,
made my own tortillas
D
Found a new cake mix,
A
I checked my body for ticks
G
Got run over by a bus and a tornado
D
almost killed us all, yeah
I became unemployed,
started getting paranoid
G
I was eating a burrito
and got bit by a mosquito
D
A
Blew a garden full of cheer,
I got cauliflower here
G
I read a Hallamack bit,
D
then I learned how to cook meat, yeah
I killed my cooking shit,
I was acting like a nut
G
Started growing out my stubble,
I've been living in a bubble
A
D
Everything was unbearable,
A
I started feeling terrible
G
Thought I should buy a gun,
D
instead I got a band -blunt
I gotta get some social distance
to help with my existence
G
Need some logical assistance
D
to a path of least resistance
I'm feelin' undesirous,
A
no one wants to hire us
G
I learned every song by Miley Cyrus,
all about coronavirus
D
I'm a midnight lurker,
I'm a least essential worker
G
You don't even have to ask,
I use my undies for a mask
D
You know I understand,
A
I gotta wash my hands
D
but I don't have demons found
I got a stimulus check,
but I feel like a wreck
G
I've become a decent cook,
I read every single book
D
A
I might blast off, but I cover my cough
G
My pants are gettin' baggy
A
G
D
and I'm lookin' kinda shaggy, uh -huh
Well, I'm the king of innuendo,
I can make a big crescendo
G
You know I cut my hair,
D
but I just don't care
Maybe I should join the Navy,
G
accidentally got a cold,
I guess I think I need an exorcist
D
I don't really want a buddy,
but I'm feelin' like a shut -in
G
I've been sweatin' in my body
and I'm feelin' kinda snotty
D
A
Need a nurse, I suppose,
D
A
try my Q -tip up my nose
G
I'm gettin' kinda grouchy,
I'm in love with Dr. Fauci
D
I guess that I could steal a tank
or maybe go and rob a bank
G
And get my arteries hot until I get a potty
D
I don't need to wear shoes,
A
I guess I'll get snooze
Outro 1
I got the quarantine blues
D
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