Тональность: C minor
Verse 1
Cm
This is a nine- minute beat poem.
Ab
Cm
It's called, "Storm"
Verse 2
Cm
Inner North London, top floor flat,
A
Gm
Eb
All white walls, white carpet, white cat,
Cm
Rice paper partitions,
Eb
modern art and am bition
Bb
The host's a physician,
Bright bloke,
Cm
has his own practice
Gm
His girlfriend's an actress,
Fm
Eb
an old mate of ours from home
Fm
G
Cm
And they're always great fun,
so to dinner we've come.
Verse 3
Cm
The 5th guest is an unknown,
Gm
The hosts have just thrown us
together for a favour
Fm
Eb
'Cause this girl's just
arrived from Australia
Fm
And she's moved to
And she's the sister of someone or
Cm
has some connection.
Verse 4
Cm
As we make introductions I'm
struck by her beauty
She's irrefutably fair with dark
eyes and dark hair
But as she sits,
I admit I'm a little bit wary
'Cause I notice the tip of
the wing of a fairy
Tattooed on that popular area just
above the derrière
And when she says "I'm
Sagittarian,"
I confess a pigeonhole starts to form
And is immediately filled with pigeon
B
A
when she says her name is Storm.
Verse 5
Cm
Conversation is initially bright
A
G
and light hearted
Eb
But it's not long before Storm
Eb
"You can't know anything,
Cm
knowledge is merely opinion!"
She opines,
over her Cabernet Sauvignon,
Eb
Cm
Vis- à- vis some un
G
Cm
Eb
hippily empirical comment by me.
Verse 6
Eb
"Not a good start" I think,
Dm
Cm
Eb
We're only on pre- dinner drinks,
Cm
And across the room,
F#
my wife widens her eyes,
Cm
Fm
Eb
D
Silently begs me: "Be nice!"
Eb
Gm
A matrimonial warning,
Cm
G
not worth ignoring
Cm
So I resist the urge to ask Storm
A
Whether knowledge is so loose-
Cm
weave of a morning when
Deciding whether to leave her
apartment by the front door
Fm
F
Or the window on her second floor.
D
The food is delicious and Storm,
Verse 7
Ab
Whilst avoiding all meat
Bb
happily sits and eats
Fm
As the good doctor,
Ab
Eb
Slightly pissedly holds court on some
Fm
F
Fm
Anachronistic aspect
Eb
of medical history
D
Gm
Ab
When Storm suddenly
Ab
"But the human body is a
mystery!"
"Science just falls in a hole when it
Tries to explain the the nature
Verse 8
My hostess throws me a glance.
D
knows there's a chance
Dm
D
I'll be off on one of my rare
Cm
Eb
but fun rants but I shan't
Bb
My lips are sealed,
Cm
I just wanna enjoy the meal
Gm
G
Cm
And al though Storm
G
is starting to get my goat
Cm
I have no intention of rocking
Eb
D
Although it's becoming a bit of a wrestle
Dm
F
Cm
Because like her meteorolo
gical namesake,
Storm has no such concerns
Verse 9
"Pharmaceutical companies are the enemy,
A
Ab
They promote drug dependency
at the cost of the natural remedies
That are all our bodies need
A
Ab
A
They are im moral and driven by greed.
Why take drugs when herbs
can solve it?
Dm
Why use chemicals when homeopathic
A
solvents can resolve it?
I think it's time we all
Dm
Bb
Return- to- live with natural
F#
medical alternatives."
Verse 10
Cm
D
a small crack appears in
F#m
D
Cm
my diplomacy- dike.
"By definition," I begin,
Eb
D
Ab
"Alternative medicine," I continue,
Eb
Fm
"Has either not been proved to work,
Dm
A
or been proved not to work.
G
Do you know what they call
Cm
Alternative medicine that's been
Cm
Medicine."
Verse 11
Cm
"So you don't believe in any natural
remedies?"
Eb
Cm
"On the contrary Storm, actually Before we came
Verse 12
to tea,
F
I took a natural remedy derived
Bb
from the bark of a willow tree
Cm
A painkiller that's virtually
Gm
side- ef fect free
Fm
Eb
It's got a weird name, darling,
Fm
Gm
what was it again?
Cm
Eb
M- masprin? Basprin? Oh
yeah! Asprin!
Dm
Which I paid about a buck for down
Cm
at the local drugstore.
Verse 13
Fm
The debate briefly abates
Cm
as my hosts collect plates
G
Gm
But as they return with desserts
Cm
Storm pertly asserts:
Bb
"Shakespeare said it first:
There are more things in heaven and
Gm
Cm
Earth than ex ist in your philosophy.
Bb
Science is just how we're
Eb
trained to look at reality,
Gm
Cm
It doesn't explain love
Gm
How does science explain psychic
The afterlife? The power of prayer?"
Am
I'm becoming aware that I'm
Verse 14
staring,
Cm
Eb
I'm like a rabbit
Cm
Suddenly trapped in the blinding
Eb
Bb
headlights of vacuous crap.
Cm
Bb
Maybe it's the Hamlet she just
Gm
Fm
misquothed
Eb
Gm
Or the sixth glass of wine I just quaffed
Cm
But my dip lomacy dike groans
Eb
And the arsehole held back by its stone
Dm
Cm
Fm
s can be held back no more:
Ab
Bb
"Look, Storm, Sorry I don't mean
Verse 15
Cm
to bore you
Bb
Ab
but there's no such thing as an aura!
Cm
Reading Auras is like reading minds or
D
Dm
C#
Tea- leaves or star- signs
or meridian lines
Cm
Bb
These people aren't applying a skill,
Ab
Bb
Cm
They're either lying or mentally ill.
D
Same goes for people who claim they
F
Fm
hear God's demands
Cm
A
And spiritual healers who
think they've magic hands.
Ab
G
By the way, why
Verse 16
Cm
F#m
do we think it's okay for
A
People to pretend they
Dm
D
can talk to the dead?
Ab
Gm
Cm
Isn't that totally fucked in the head?
F#
F#m
Lying to some crying
Cm
Bb
woman whose child has died
D
Ab
And telling her you're in touch
with the other side?
B
Cm
I think that's fundamentally sick
Bb
Eb
Ab
Do we need to clarify here that there's
Db
no such thing as a psychic?
Cm
What are we, fucking two?
Verse 17
Cm
Bb
Do we actually think that
Bbm
Db
Horton Heard a Who?
F#m
Cm
Do we still believe that Santa
A
Bb
brings us gifts?
D
That Michael Jackson didn't
Cm
B
Are we still so stunned by
Bm
D
circus tricks that we think
That the dead would wanna talk
Cm
to pricks like John Edwards?
Bb
Storm to her credit
Verse 18
Ab
Cm
keeps firing off clichés
Bb
A
Ab
With startling precision like a sniper using
Fm
Eb
bollocks for ammunition
Verse 19
D
Dm
"You're so sure of your position
C#
Ab
but you're just closed- minded
Bb
F
I think you'll find that your
A
Ab
faith in science and
Cm
Bb
Tests is just as blind as the faith
A
of any fundamentalist"
Ab
"Wow that's a good
Verse 20
point,
let me think for a bit.
Oh wait, my mistake,
that's absolute bullshit.
A
Ab
Cm
F#m
Science adjusts it's views
A
based on what's observed.
D
Ab
Cm
Faith is the denial of observation
F#m
so that Belief can be preserved.
Bm
A
D
Ab
If you show me that, say, homeopathy works,
B
Cm
then I will change my mind
Adim
D
I'll spin on a fucking dime
Ab
Cm
I'll be embarrassed as hell,
But I will run through the streets yelling
Bb
'It's a miracle! Take
A
Db
physics and bin it!
F#
Water has memory!
Cm
Bb
And while it's memory of a long
D
Lost drop of onion juice
G
Cm
seems Infinite
Fm
B
It somehow for gets all the poo
Bm
D
it's had in it!'
Verse 21
Cm
You show me that it works
Cm
B
And when I've recovered
from the shock
D
I will take a compass and carve 'Fancy
That' on the side of my cock."
Verse 22
Everyone's just staring now,
But I'm pretty pissed and I've
dug this far down,
So I figure, in for penny,
Fm
"Life is full of mys
Verse 23
F#
teries,
G
Fm
yeah
Eb
D
Eb
But there are an swers out there
Fm
G
Cm
And they won't be found by
G
A
people sitting around
Bm
D
Looking serious and saying 'Isn't
Bm
D
A
life mysterious?'
'Let's sit here and hope.
Let's call up the fucking Pope.
Fm
Cm
Let's go watch Oprah interview
Eb
Deepak Chopra.'
Ab
If you wanna watch tele, you should
Verse 24
A
watch Scooby Doo.
Ab
Fm
F#
That show was so cool
Ab
because every time there
Eb
Cm
Was a church with a ghoul or a
Fm
ghost in a school
Ab
D
They looked beneath the mask
Cm
Ab
and what was inside?
Cm
Fm
Ab
The fucking janitor or the dude
who ran the waterslide.
A
Because throughout history every
Eb
D
Mystery ever solved has turned out to be
Verse 25
D
G
Does the idea that there might
Cm
F
be knowledge frighten you?
Cm
Bm
D
Does the idea that one afternoon on
G
Cm
Wiki- fucking- pedia might
enlighten you frighten you?
Bm
D
Does the notion that there may not be
Ab
Cm
F#m
a supernatural so blow your
A
Hippy noodle that you'd rather just
D
Cm
Stand in the fog of your in
F#m
ability to Google?
Verse 26
this enough?
Verse 27
A
Am
Cm
Just this beautiful, complex,
A
C
wonderfully unfathomable, natural world?
A
C
How does it so fail to hold
our attention that we have to
D
A
F
Diminish it with the invention of cheap,
man- made myths and monsters?
If you're so into your Shakespeare,
Fm
D
lend me your ear:
C
"To gild re fined gold,
to paint the lily,
Am
C
To throw perfume on the violet...
is just fucking silly"
G
Or something like that.
Or what about Satchmo?!
G
Gm
"I see trees of Green,
Red roses too,"
And fine, if you wish to glorify
Cm
Krishna and Vishnu in a
Post- colonial,
Condescending bottled-
up and labeled
Kind of way then whatever, that's ok.
C
But here's what gives me a hard- on:
I am a tiny, insignificant,
A
ignorant bit of carbon.
I have one life,
A
C
and it is short and unimportant...
A
But thanks to recent scientific
advances I get to live
A
Twice as long as my great great great
Cm
great uncleses and auntses.
F
Twice as long to live this life of mine
D
F
Twice as long to love this wife of mine
Twice as many years of friends and wine
Of sharing curries and getting
A
Am
shitty at good- looking hippies
With fairies on their spines
Verse 28
and butterflies on their titties.
And if perchance I have offended
Think but this and all is
mended:
We'd as well be 10 minutes back in time,
Outro 1
For all the chance you'll change your mind.
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