In this time of strife and struggle
and people killing other people
and them people feeling sad
because they got killed by people,
I got me just one wish this Christmas.
I want for Santa Claus
to get together with U2 and
Bill Clinton and Joey Fatone
and just, you know, just all
the people of the world,
no matter what country or
color or religion they is,
Even if they're the
wrong one.
And get them all to hold hands in harmony.
And pray that someone give me the
one gift I want for me this year.
All I want for Christmas
is my one front tooth.
My one front tooth.
My one front tooth.
Gee, if I could only have
my one front tooth.
Then I could wish you Merry Christmas.
It's been so long since
I could say
Twisted Sister Riffin' Sister Christian
God told you how happy I'd be
If I could only listen
Listen!
What the hell does that even mean?
It rhymes.
It rhymes with Christian.
My one friend too.
You have one already!
Your greed sickens me!
I do? Yeah,
I'm counting right now.
Open wide! Uh... One!
Well, check the back teeth.
There's nothing back there
but dog food breath!
Yeah, he's right, man.
You only got one tooth.
Shut up, man.
They don't know that.
Who? The listener?
He sure as hell does!
You're on the freakin' cover
of the album advertising it!
You know what? I hope you
get sued.
Well, I want me some more teeth.
I want to chew tobacco like
Ryan Seacrest.
Ryan Seacrest does not
chew tobacco.
He don't? I know him personally.
We're very good friends.
He would've called me
if he wanted to have some
of my chaw.
You're supposed to have 32 teeth,
Meatwad.
I mean, you've never flossed,
you've never brushed,
and all that damn candy you eat,
so that's why they're all gone.
Fine, I know, I know, okay, fine.
All I want for Christmas is 31 more
Meatwad, Meatwad, Meatwad!
No, no, no, man,
we don't got dental insurance.
We don't have that.
You best wish for something else
this Christmas.
Well then, fine, I will!
Preferably nothing medical,
because we can't cover that.
I heard you, Dad.
Just start from the top.
I don't really need this jaunty stuff.
All I want for Christmas
is one of vibrating neck massagers
with the MP3 player,
heated gloves, and a digital scarf,
with electric shiatsu massage shoes,
and myrtle aid with lavender
aromatherapy,
v -neck sweater for your
lumbar re gion,
and batteries or not, including G.
If I could only have one
of them stress relievers
with the seven different settings
and the portable stereo speakers
then I would be happy
and that's the end of the song
people get that I want that
and they send it to me.
Gee if I could only have one of
them things I just said
then I could wish you Merry Christmas.
Ho ho ho
Merry Christmas fool!
Ow! I did?
That was my one tooth.
You kicked it out!
Why'd you kick it out?
Say goodnight, Gummy!
I won't kill